Table of Contents
Introduction
You’ve probably heard of scissoring, whether you’ve heard it talked about or seen it in lesbian porn. If you’re a queer woman like me, you’ve likely tried it at least once!
When I talk about scissoring, I’m not talking about kitchen scissors or arts and crafts! I’m talking about a sex position – and an iconic one at that!
So what is the scissors sex position? And how does it work? You’re in the right place to find out more if it’s new to you.
What Exactly is the Scissors Sex Position?
If you don’t know the position, it can sound a bit complicated at first but I promise it’s easier than it seems! The scissors position involves two partners facing each other, with their legs intertwined so their genitals touch. They can then rub their genitals together for sexual pleasure.
It’s called scissoring because the position looks like two pairs of scissors open with the middle of the blades touching.
Although scissoring is common in the queer community with cisgender lesbians and people with vulvas, it can actually be done by any pairing of genders. In fact, scissoring can be a fun addition to other positions for gay couples—it just might be called something different, like the Arch Position illustrated below.
It’s also very inclusive for plus-sized people and for many people with disabilities, as it’s fairly easy to navigate especially with adaptions. Everyone can try it!
Since it has been used so much in porn to portray lesbian sex, some people think scissoring isn’t real. They think ‘real’ lesbians don’t actually do it. That’s not the case! I promise scissoring is real. Of course, not every lesbian or queer woman is going to be a fan of it – we’re all individuals. But it is a real sex position! And yes – you can really orgasm through scissoring (trust me).
This position is not just about physical pleasure though. It also fosters a deep emotional connection. Maintaining eye contact and physical closeness enhances intimacy between partners. In my experience, it’s fantastic for slow, sensual, passionate sex, especially between two lesbians.
The main action in this position is not about thrusting but rather about rubbing and grinding, which can feel incredibly pleasurable for both partners.
It’s all about finding that sweet spot where the movements feel natural and satisfying. You can adjust your legs and positioning to see what feels best and what allows you to make the best connection with your partner’s genitals.
Is Scissoring Only for People With Vulvas?
Although scissoring is typically thought of as a lesbian sex position, in reality, anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can try it.
In most cases, this sex position doesn’t involve penetration. However, it can be if one partner has a penis or if you want to use sex toys (like a strap-on or dildo). It’s a very versatile position so you can adjust it to suit you.
Is Scissoring and Tribadism the Same?
Some people wonder if scissoring and tribadism are the same thing. The answer is yes and no – bear with me here.
Tribadism, or ‘tribbing’ as it’s better known, is any sex act involving two people rubbing their genitals together. It’s an umbrella term. So scissoring falls under the category of tribbing but refers to the position of the couple’s bodies during the act.
A lot of people use the terms interchangeably, which is also fine. Scissoring can be adapted and changed to suit each couple, so the definition can vary widely. And that’s ok!
Why Do People Like the Scissoring?
There are so many reasons people enjoy the scissors sex position including:
Sexual pleasure: This sexual position allows for unique sensations from genital friction that are different from those achieved through other methods like those involving fingers or mouths. One of the main reasons people like it is because it can give intense sexual pleasure. It feels great and it’s fun! For two partners with vulvas, it allows you to give each other sexual stimulation at the same time while looking at each other, which is really erotic!
Clitoral stimulation: If one or both of you have clits, it’s a great position for clitoral stimulation. Grinding at just the right angle can produce heavenly friction and explosive orgasms.
Easy to involve toys: This position makes it easy to add toys for extra clitoral stimulation or for penetration. If I’m with a partner with a vulva, I particularly love using a double-ended dildo or vibrator in this position.
Intimacy: Being able to make eye contact and see the pleasure on each other faces is very intimate. If you’re looking for passion and romance, scissoring can be fantastic!
Inclusivity: I love that this position can be used by any couple, of any gender, sexual orientation, height, weight, or ability. Although it does require some strength and flexibility, the scissors sex position can be adapted to suit the majority of people.
Adaptability: Speaking of adaptations, this sex position is so versatile. With a change of the position of one leg, you can feel so many different sensations.
Great view: Scissoring gives you such a great view of your partner’s body during sex. I mean, who doesn’t want that? To be honest, that’s probably why it’s one of my favorite positions!
How to Perform the Scissors Position
Getting into this position sounds more complicated than it actually is. One partner lies on their back and one partner lies on their side. Open your legs and hook them around each other. You can also bend one leg with a knee up.
You can move around to find the right angle and a comfortable position for you. You’ll know you’ve got it right when you are able to reach your partner’s genitals and touch them with yours.
Once you’ve found a positioning that works for you both, you can begin to grind and rub your genitals together.
If you’re going to try penetration, you can adjust the angle so that the penetrating partner is in a position where they can thrust in and out with their sex toy or penis. You can use this position for either vaginal or anal penetration. It’s not a great position for deep penetration – it’s more about focusing on genital contact. If anal penetration is your focus, you can explore related anal sex positions.
Variations and Modifications
The beauty of the scissors position lies in its versatility. Couples can experiment with different alignments and adjustments to find what works best for them.
Alternative Leg Positions
Experiment with different leg positions to figure out what feels the most comfortable for you. One partner could lift their upper leg with their partner’s right leg underneath. There are so many choices! You can rearrange your intertwined legs until you find the best option for you.
You might want to lean on your elbows or hands to raise yourself up off the bed a bit. Some people prefer to sit up to start with, while others like to lie on their sides facing each other.
Other Body Parts
The grinding doesn’t just have to be between genitals. Yes, you read that right! You could rub your genitals against your partner’s thigh (this is a popular one). Or how about their juicy ass? What about their breasts (if they have them)? Or even their hips!
The choice is yours – don’t be afraid to think outside the box. There are no ‘rules’. You’re not going to get it wrong. If it feels good and you both enjoy it, go for it!
Incorporating Sex Toys
Incorporating sex toys can significantly enhance this sex position. We’ve already mentioned vibrators and dildos, but how about cock rings, butt plugs, a prostate massager, or anal beads? Of course, a lot of this is dependent on the gender and anatomy of your partner.
Adding Props for Support
Adding props like wedges or pillows can help maintain better positioning and reduce discomfort during the scissors position. A padded wedge can create a more comfortable angle for penetration, while a bolster pillow can provide better lumbar support.
If you’re disabled or struggle with chronic pain, this is a fantastic way to ensure you’re comfortable throughout so you can fully enjoy yourself. If there are height and weight differences between you and your partner, props can help you to achieve the right angle for genital contact.
Wear Underwear or Soft Clothing
You don’t have to be totally naked to engage in scissoring. A lot of people find genital-on-genital contact too intense or find the friction uncomfortable. Depending on the size and shape of your body, you might find the feeling of bone on bone a bit painful.
If so, why not try scissoring with one or both of you wearing underwear? Or even some soft clothing that you don’t mind getting a bit messy? My favorite option is to wear nice lingerie because it also adds new sensations and looks super sexy!
Mutual Masturbation
If you’re finding the position isn’t accessible for you even with adaptations, then how about facing each other and enjoying mutual masturbation? This can be a great alternative if you’re disabled and struggle with the strength to make the grinding movements.
You still get the benefit of eye contact and that feeling of closeness combined with the sexual pleasure. Plus, you can still involve sex toys and touch your partner’s body in ways that work for you. You can even maintain genital-to-genital contact while engaging in mutual masturbation.
Do What Works
There’s often a feeling of pressure to ‘get it right’ when trying a new position, but all that matters is that you both enjoy it and have fun. You can adapt things and change elements to suit you. Basically what I’m saying is scissoring can look, feel, and be however you want it to be.
Tips to Enhance the Experience
I’ve included some of my top tips below to help you get the most out of scissoring:
Communication and consent: It’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner about preferences and comfort levels. This discussion ensures that both parties are on the same page and can enjoy the experience. I always emphasize the importance of consent in any sexual activity.
Stretch before you start: Since the scissors position can use some muscles you don’t typically utilize in day-to-day life, it can be a good idea to do a bit of light stretching beforehand to warm yourself up.
Choose a comfortable setting: The setting you choose for the scissors position can significantly impact your comfort and enjoyment. Opt for a soft surface like a bed, sofa, or other padded area to provide the necessary support and stability. You want to be comfortable enough to take your time and enjoy the slow, sensual sensations involved. The last thing you want is to be distracted by a hard floor! If you’re disabled like me, I recommend a bed as it gives the most support.
Use lube: There’s a lot of skin-on-skin rubbing involved in this sex position (that’s what makes it feel so good). But the last thing you want is any chafing or friction burns – yikes! To avoid this apply lube to all areas where there might be friction to make the experience smoother and more pleasurable. You might want to try a nice flavored lube if you’re going to enjoy some oral sex too! And if you are, make sure to check our article on oral sex positions for both, penises and vulva owners, as well as cunnilingus positions and blow job positions.
Experiment with body angles: Try different angles and leg positions to work out what feels best for you both. You won’t know until you try!
Experiment with different movements: You’ll want more of a grinding and rubbing motion than a thrusting movement. You can try different movements, pressures, and speeds to see what feels good.
Switch it up: The scissors position can be part of your foreplay or your whole sexual session depending on what you want. If it’s hard to maintain for too long, why not switch it up and try another position? You can always go back to scissoring later.
Don’t focus on an orgasm: Although it’s possible to orgasm in this position as a person with a vulva (I can attest to that), it might not be possible for everyone. Focusing on an orgasm as the ‘goal’ can put a lot of pressure on both partners. Instead, focus on the sensation and intimacy of the experience. If an orgasm happens, fantastic! If not, you can always ‘finish the job’ another way!
Try different kinks and fetishes: We’ve already mentioned involving toys, but what about exploring other kinks and fetishes too? For example, one of my favorites is using warm oils, skin-safe candles, or an ice cube to heighten sensations for both me and my partner. If you’re new to this and need guidance, check out our guides on ice play, wax play, or even gentle S&M—whatever feels right for you!
Use protection: Some people think that you can’t get an STI from scissoring if it doesn’t involve penetration – that’s a myth! Because your genitals are touching and you’re likely getting very aroused, there’s still a risk of STIs. Protect yourself by getting regular STI tests and consider using protection such as dental dams. If there will be penetration involved, use a condom. At the end of the day, STIs aren’t sexy!
Have fun: So often we get caught up in what a sex position is supposed to look like or feel like. You might find yourself thinking: “Are we doing this right? Are our legs in the right place? Is this how it’s supposed to feel?” Overthinking can stop you from being in the moment and enjoying the experience! If it feels good and you’re having fun, you’re doing it right!
Don’t force it: Although scissoring can be adapted to be accessible to most people, some disabled people or people who lack fitness for other reasons might find it’s not right for them. If that’s the case, don’t force it or worry about it – there are plenty of other sex positions that you can try!
Final Thoughts: Scissoring is Sexy!
The scissors sex position offers a unique blend of physical and emotional intimacy, making it a favorite for many couples (especially for two people with vulvas). This position allows you to enhance your sexual experiences and deepen your connection with your partner. Communication, consent, and experimentation are must to making the most of this position.
Remember, the journey is just as important as the destination. Take your time to explore, adjust, and enjoy the sensations that the scissors position can bring.
