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Wax Play Guide: How to Make Her Moan with Temperature Play

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Table of Contents

Introduction

Are you ready to heat things up in the bedroom? Ready to add a spark to your sex life? How about fanning the flames of desire? Ok, I’m done with candle puns (for now). If you hadn’t guessed already, I’m talking about wax play! It happens to be one of my favorite things in the bedroom.

Feeling curious? I’m glad – it’s well worth exploring. In this guide, you’ll learn what wax play is, why people love it, and how to enjoy it safely.

What is Wax Play?

Wax play is the practice of putting hot wax on the skin of your partner or yourself for pleasure. Usually, it involves dripping or pouring the wax from a lit candle. It’s a form of temperature play.

I know it sounds risky, and of course, there are some risks involved. But you don’t use any old candle you’ve got around the house (put down your Yankee candle guys). There are specific candles with a low melting point that are as skin-safe as possible.

The goal is to experience the hot temperature combined with a little sting of pain, not actual burns. You can vary your technique to make the experience less or more intense.

Often wax play is used as part of foreplay to build the tension before sex. This is how I like to use it. It can also be used during sex or in combination with other sex acts.

It’s important to note that wax play is done by fully consenting adults.

three sexy girls in harness involved in s&m kink and wax play

Who Can Try Wax Play?

Anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can try wax play.

This type of play is common within the BDSM community. It’s often done in a D/s relationship.

However, people who enjoy ‘vanilla sex‘ can also experiment with some wax play. For example, you could try a massage candle that drips warm wax rather than hot wax. It won’t hurt, and as it melts onto the skin it can be used as part of a sensual massage.

Is Wax Play Accessible?

Yes, wax play is accessible and you can adjust it to suit most people. However, if you struggle with issues like grip, coordination, eyesight, and balance, being the person in control of the wax may not be the safest for you.

If like me you live with chronic pain, you may have an altered pain tolerance or some sensitivity in specific areas of your body. I find that it works for me and feels great as long as I avoid certain areas.

At the end of the day, as disabled people, we’re all individuals. You know your body and your abilities best.

Solo Wax Play

We all masturbate – it’s natural and it’s great fun. There’s no shame here!

Who says you can’t spice up your solo play just like you do when you’re with a lover? Wax play is a great way to make things more sensual and introduce some new sensations to your erotic solo sessions.

sexy girl lay on bed with wax dripping on her pussy and nipples

Why Do People Love Wax Play?

There are so many reasons people love wax play! Like many others, I love it because it’s a delightful blend of pleasure and pain. There are so many sensations involved. There’s the anticipation of waiting for the wax to drop, the sting as it hits your skin, and the feeling of the hot wax as it gradually cools. It’s truly incredible!

Remember we talked about power dynamics earlier? Well, a lot of people enjoy it because it enhances the dynamics of control and submission.

This type of play requires a deep level of trust, vulnerability, and communication, so it can make you feel closer to your partner.

Some people enjoy the risk. The thought of playing with fire, something that we know is dangerous and could hurt you, is thrilling!

It also has a very visual aspect. You can use different colors and types of skin-safe wax. Lots of people look at it as an art form, enjoying making patterns with the wax.

Wax play is an affordable, simple way to introduce new elements into the bedroom. It can spice up your sex life and help you be more present in the moment.

Is Wax Play ‘Wrong’?

No, there’s nothing wrong with wax play! There’s a lot of stigma around kinks and fetishes, but thankfully they’re becoming more normalized. There’s plenty of evidence to show that they’re a healthy sexual expression.

You aren’t doing anything wrong by exploring wax play. And you won’t find any judgment here!

sensory deprivation play with wax

Safety Tips For Playing With Hot Wax

Although wax play is generally fairly safe, it’s important to take precautions. I’ve included my top safety tips below.

Communicate With Your Partner

Talk to your partner about how you want to involve wax play in your sex life. Discuss your desires and boundaries. Ensure you’re both on the same page and set out a clear plan for what to do if something goes wrong.

Know The Risks

Make sure you both know the risks of wax play and fully consent to any activities you try. Risks can include:

  • Burns to the skin

  • Skin irritation

  • Injuries from splashing wax

  • Fire and damage to your home and belongings

  • Allergies to candle ingredients

  • Asthma and other breathing issues being aggravated by scented candles

  • Issues removing wax, particularly from hairy areas of the body

Risks are significantly reduced when you follow safety precautions and use appropriate candles.

Establish a Safe Word

Choose a safe word. This is a word that either of you can use at any point if you want to stop. It’s used as a clear indicator that you’ve reached your limit.

Choosing The Area

The last thing you want is to be worrying about damaging your home while you’re trying to relax and enjoy your kinky selves!

Use old bed sheets, a shower curtain, or an old towel to protect your furniture and floors from any dripping wax. Trust me, wax doesn’t easily come off bed sheets (learn from my mistakes)!

Prepping The Skin

If you’re going to be using wax on particularly hairy areas of your body, you might want to shave. It’s not fun trying to remove wax from body hair afterward. If you’re not very hairy, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

You’ll find a lot of places online that advise using lotion or body oil on the skin before wax play to make clean-up easier. I would highly disagree and strongly advise against this! The ingredients in these products can be flammable, and even if they’re not, they can react with the hot wax and increase the risk of skin irritation.

Fire Safety

Of course, fire safety is one of the most important things when you’re playing with a flame! Here are my top fire safety tips:

  • Clear the area of anything particularly flammable (think hairspray and nail polish).

  • Have a fire extinguisher or fire blanket nearby.

  • Keep a cool cloth and some room-temperature water on hand (this is good for accidental burns).

  • Never leave a burning candle unattended (yes, even for a minute – it’s scary how quickly a flame can grow).

  • Never throw a candle or match in the trash until it’s completely cooled down.

  • Don’t play in a room with a smoke detector (I know you think a candle won’t set it off, but there is a chance it will. And it ruins the mood very quickly. I, unfortunately, speak from experience).

  • Blow out the candle before you start dripping the wax, especially if the container is glass or if you’re a newbie. If you want an even safer option, use an electric candle warmer!

  • Be careful with lingerie as it can be flammable.

  • Keep a first aid kit on hand.

  • If one of you burns yourself, make sure to know how to treat burns. As a first thing, use a cool compress or run the burn under cool or lukewarm water for 20 minutes. Then seek medical help. Don’t use ice or ice water. Don’t apply creams or any other greasy substances.

Avoiding Splashback

Splashback simply refers to wax splashing off the receiver’s body, resulting in little pieces of candle wax ending up elsewhere.

You don’t want to drip the wax too close to your partner, as this is more likely to cause burns. However, dripping wax from a higher position cools it down but increases the risk of unwanted splashes. It’s best to try and achieve a happy medium.

If your partner wants the wax to be cooler, protect their eyes by having them wear a blindfold or lie on their front.

Temperature Test

It’s best to test the temperature of the candle you’re using before you get into your wax play. Drop a little bit of the wax on your wrist or inner elbow before beginning.

If the person receiving the wax is prone to allergies, I’d recommend a patch test a few hours before just to make sure they don’t react to any ingredients in the candle.

Choosing the Right Candles

Without a doubt, one of the most important things is to choose the right candles. You can’t just pick up any candle and drip the wax onto your partner – it will cause serious burns!

Body-safe candles are designed to melt at lower temperatures, reducing the risk of burns and skin irritation. The safest option is to go for candles specifically designed for wax play or massage (there are more out there than you might think).

Paraffin and soy candles are generally safe. Paraffin candles burn a bit hotter than soy, so they give a more intense sensation.

Avoid candles made from beeswax, stearin, or microcrystalline wax – they have a hot melting point and will cause burns.

I’d also recommend avoiding glass containers as they can crack and cause injury. Generally, candles that are the same width the whole way up burn better for wax play.

If you’re disabled and struggle with grip or pouring (or you just want to make things easier for yourself), you can get wax play candles with ‘easy pour’ spouts.

Choose Safe Areas of the Body

So, where can you pour wax? Most places are fine as long as you’re careful. If you are a beginner, I’d recommend starting with less sensitive areas like the back, arms, and legs.

Obviously, there are places you want to avoid like the face, the genitals, and anywhere inside of your body!

I’m not going to lie, some kinksters do use wax on the genitals (I declare no comment on that one). But it’s super risky so I can’t recommend it. If you do decide to do that, be extremely careful and make very sure you don’t get any wax inside the vagina or anus.

Seeking Help if You Need It

Ok I know, going to the hospital or doctor with a burn and having to explain how it got there is embarrassing. But having an untreated burn is much worse! So, if you do have an accident, please go and seek help!

Take It Seriously

There’s a flame, so these safety precautions aren’t ‘over dramatic’. Yes, you’ll probably be fine, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

waxplay in sensory deprivation bdsm


Tips for Better Wax Play Experience

Now that we’ve covered the serious stuff, let’s talk about other ways you can enhance your wax play experience. The more fun the better, right?

Experiment With Techniques

You can experiment with different ways of dripping and pouring wax. For example, try dripping slowly to build anticipation or pouring suddenly to make your partner gasp. Take turns being the one to pour the wax.

I find that tapping the candle gently with a finger can provide more control while pouring the wax. You can even try making artistic patterns on your partner’s body if you’re feeling creative.

Ease Into It

Remember, less is more. Don’t pour the entire candle at once! Build up slowly and keep communicating with your partner throughout.

Consider Adding Other Kinks And Elements

If you enjoy wax play, you might also enjoy combining it with other kinks. You could try some bondage or blindfolding your partner to add some other sensory elements. Or why not try exploring temperature play even further by using ice to provide a contrast between heat and cold? It feels amazing!

Cleaning Up and Wax Removal

If you’re using body-safe massage candles, clean-up is pretty easy. With other skin-safe candles, the wax will harden on your skin. You can easily peel smaller areas off with your fingers or use some baby oil. If you’re like me, scraping the wax off is a fun part of the experience!

Practice Aftercare

Aftercare is a crucial part of wax play. After you’ve cleaned each other up, check in to make sure you’re both happy with how things went. Spend some time reconnecting and taking care of each other.

Final thoughts: Candle Wax is Wonderful!

Wax play creates a range of sensations that can enhance your sex life and open your mind to new realms of pleasure. If you’re eager to give it a try, just be sure you follow safety precautions and use body-safe candles. Have fun playing with wax!

author avatar
Olivia Moore Author & Content Creator
A passionate storyteller with a deep curiosity for exploring the world of kink and fetishes. My background in psychology drives my fascination with human desires and the stories we rarely share. 🖤✨