Lesbian Sex

As a kinky editor I feel the need to really clarify what “lesbian sex” means. I know, it’s seems silly but I promise you, it’s a due diligence. Lesbian sex, while it’s often used to describe sex between two women, it doesn’t have to involve people who identify strictly as lesbians. Women who are bisexual, pansexual, queer, or even heterosexual might also engage in what’s considered lesbian sex.

It’s important to remember that lesbian sex isn’t just limited to cisgender women—it can include transgender women, non-binary individuals, and people with diverse genitalia. For the sake of this article, though, I’ll be focusing on the hot and sensual experience of vulva-on-vulva sex, (yes that one you are all picturing right now) involving individuals who identify as women, whether cis or trans, exclusively homosexual or not.

When it comes to porn, “lesbian sex” is everywhere, but it’s rarely made with lesbians in mind. It’s surprisingly tough to find content where women are having sex with women, just for women. So where do you turn if you’re looking for a move or two?

Here you’ll find tips from queer women of different ages, races, and sexual styles. And remember, you don’t have to be a lesbian to have “lesbian sex”—you just need two women. Whether you’re a baby dyke or a seasoned Sapphic, you’re bound to learn something here that you won’t find on porn websites, in fact, as I often say “Knowledge can be pleasurable but Pleasure only rarely can be knowledgeable” 

How Do Lesbians Have Sex? Let’s Get Real

Spoiler alert: It’s not what you’ve seen in porn. Forget the choreographed scenes designed for the male eyes. Lesbian sex is all about connection, exploration, and pleasure—without the pressure to perform like you’re in a movie. Whether it’s a gentle kiss during foreplay or a deep, intense orgasm that rocks your world, lesbian sex is about enjoying each other’s bodies in a way that feels natural and satisfying and, more often than not, it involves comfortable positions, but don’t worry we will also explore some more advanced ones. 

So, let’s start shall we? 

Lesbian Sex Isn’t a One-Size-Fits

Here’s the truth, lesbian sex is as diverse as the people who enjoy it. Same-sex couples, whether lesbian, bisexual, or exploring their sexuality, find that their sex lives are all about what feels good and brings sexual satisfaction. It’s not just about two women with vulvas going at it. Lesbian couples come in many forms, and their sexual activities can vary depending on personal preferences, body types, and desires.

Some lesbians love soft, gentle touches, while others crave intensity. Some are about oral sex, while others enjoy manual stimulation, fingering, or experimenting with sex toys. And yes, scissoring is a thing—though it’s not the main event for most. It’s about finding what feels good for you and your partner, and that’s different for everyone. Whether it’s a playful kiss on the nipples or a deep, satisfying exploration of the clitoris, the key is to talk to your partner and explore what makes you both feel amazing.

The Stereotypes About Lesbian Sex

Let’s talk about misconceptions. First, no one has to be “the man” in the relationship. There’s no rulebook that says one person has to do all the penetration while the other just receives. Sex is about mutual pleasure, so take turns, share the roles be flexible, and find what works for you.

Second, not all lesbians use strap-ons. Some love them, some don’t. It’s a personal choice, not a requirement. The same goes for scissoring—it’s fun for some, but definitely not a must-do for everyone.

Finally, orgasms are awesome, but they’re not the end-all, be-all of sex. Whether it’s a slow build-up through foreplay or a surprise climax, focus on connecting with your partner, enjoying the moment, and let orgasms be the cherry on top if and when they happen.

Is It Like What You See in Porn?

Let’s get this straight: Most lesbian porn is created for dudes, not for lesbians. The exaggerated moans, impossible positions, and those impossibly long nails—how do they even function? It’s all for show!

Real lesbian sex is raw, intimate, and focused on genuine connection. As a woman myself who experienced a lot on top of surfing all kinds of communities to interact with kinkers like me and you I can tell you this. Any lesbian and even bi-sex woman will tell you straight away—lesbian sex, emotionally speaking is, more likely, better than what they experienced in their straight experience. Why?

Because it’s tender, more loving, and overflowing with care. Imagine two beautiful creatures with peach-soft lips, kissing and caressing each other, every touch is filled with a tenderness that belongs almost exclusively to the feminine world. Of course we are not making generalisation here, and there are many men that are capable of incredible tenderness in bed. However, the Lesbian Sex tend to be more intimate and equal,  that focus more in creating a connection first and only after on reaching the orgasm. I mean, if you know you know 😉

The Essentials of Lesbian Sex 

1. It rarely have a clear representation in movies (same as gay sex)

You’re not putting on a show, you’re connecting with your partner. So, forget about trying to recreate scenes from Blue Is The Warmest Color or any other L World movie. Focus on what feels good for you and your partner, not what looks good on a screen. Whether it’s your first time or the hundredth, what matters is the connection, not the performance. And remember, the goal isn’t always orgasm—sometimes, it’s simply about enjoying each other’s bodies, from kissing to exploring the clitoris and the sensation it gives you without climax.

2. Don’t Sweat the Shaving

Here’s a little secret, your partner isn’t expecting a perfectly groomed pussy! So dont stress! It’s all about being comfortable. While keeping things clean is nice, don’t stress about being hairless. The most important parts, like the clitoris, are naturally smooth anyway! What really matters is how you feel in your skin, and that confidence is far more pleasurable than any grooming routine.

3. Appreciate Diverse Bodies

Lesbian bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. Whether you’re with a cis woman, a trans woman, or someone with intersex genitalia, the key is to ask how they like to be touched. It’s all about validation and making your partner feel seen and appreciated in the bedroom. Whether you’re caressing their breasts, gently teasing their nipples, or exploring their clitoris, the important thing is to talk and understand what they find most pleasurable. On top of that talking is sometimes a way to get the other person out of their mind and in the flow, so find the right balance of good vibes and communication to get the party going. I know I sound like a broken record but in this particular situation the phycological factor is a must to take in consideration.

4. Oral Sex Isn’t the Only Option

Sure, oral sex is fantastic, but let’s not forget you have more tools in the box! Your fingers, dildos, vibrators, and maybe even some creative improvisation (fruit and veggies, anyone?) can all add to the experience. Mix it up and see what you both enjoy. Whether you’re stimulating the clitoris, engaging in manual penetration, or just enjoying some intimate kissing, the key is variety and communication.

5. Nail It with Your Nails

Long nails might be Instagram-worthy, but they’re not exactly bedroom-friendly. Keep at least a few nails short and smooth to avoid any accidental scratches. Trust me, your partner will appreciate the effort, especially when you’re using those fingers to gently explore the clitoris or trace around their nipples. It might seem like a small matter, but it can make a big difference in how pleasurable the experience is.

6. Use Your Whole Mouth

When you’re going down on her, don’t just rely on your tongue. Use your whole mouth—lips, cheeks, and yes, even your teeth (gently!). Vary the sensations to keep things exciting. Whether you’re focusing on the clitoris or giving some love to the breast and nipples, using different techniques keeps the experience fresh and deeply pleasurable. Kissing, licking, and gentle biting can all play a role in building up to a breath taking orgasm.

Honestly one of the things I love the most in the initial phases of oral sex, is a continue pressure of the whole tongue on my labia, that allow them to warm up slowly and gently and to give you a diffuse fuzz all-around down there. This is good advice for all type of oral sex, but start slowly!  

7. Don’t Forget the Inner Thighs

The inner thighs are an erogenous zone that often gets neglected. Lick, bite, or blow on them to heighten her arousal. These little touches can make all the difference, especially during foreplay. It’s a build-up that can lead to more intense sensations when you finally move to the clitoris or other sensitive areas. Plus, it’s a great way to explore your partner’s body, discovering what makes them feel good beyond the usual spots.

8. Tease Before You Please

Building anticipation can be incredibly sexy. Give her a soft peck down there, then pull back and breathe on it. The suspense will drive her wild, and when you finally dive in, she’ll be more than ready. This kind of teasing can make the eventual penetration or focus on the clitoris that much more intense and pleasurable. Sometimes, what matters most is not rushing the experience—letting the pleasure build gradually can lead to an even more powerful orgasm.

9. Tongue Penetration? Yes, Please!

Who says tongues are just for licking? Penetrate her with your tongue for a different kind of sensation. It’s unexpected, playful, and can feel amazing. This type of penetration can be particularly pleasurable when combined with other sensations, like stimulating the clitoris with your fingers or gently kissing her nipples. It’s all about layering the sensations to create a more fulfilling sexual experience.

10. Double the Pleasure with Fingers and Tongue

Why settle for just one sensation when you can double up? Insert your fingers while giving head to stimulate both her clit and vagina. There’s a reason why The Rabbit vibrator is so popular—it hits multiple spots at once! Combining oral stimulation with manual penetration can lead to deeper, more intense orgasms. The key is to communicate and find out what combination of sensations makes your partner feel incredible.

11. Tailor the Fingering to Her Needs

Some people are good with just a fingertip, while others might want the full fist. Always ask what feels good for her, and start slow before working your way up. Whether you’re focusing on gentle clitoral stimulation or deeper penetration, what matters most is your partner’s comfort and pleasure. Fingering can be an incredibly intimate act, especially when it’s done with care and attention to what your partner truly enjoys.

12. Master the “Come Hither” Motion

Once you’re inside, curl your fingers into a hook shape and pull towards you, then straighten them again. This motion stimulates the G-spot and can lead to some seriously intense orgasms. Paired with clitoral stimulation or a deep, passionate kiss, this technique can heighten pleasure and create a more satisfying experience for both partners. It’s all about exploring what works best for your partner’s body and using that knowledge to bring them to new heights of pleasure. When you have your fingers inside you can easily feel a more rough section positioned on the upper section of the vagina, that is the G-Spot and that’s your golden ticket to a powerful orgasm. Rub it in the motion suggested modulating the rhythm to find the perfect tempo (she will make you understand when you get it right) and do not change it. Even when you may think you are boring, you are just extending her pleasure longer and charging the ticking bomb of her orgasm.  

13. Scissoring Is Real—But It’s Not What You Think

Yes, scissoring is a thing, but! it’s not as acrobatic as porn makes it out to be. It’s more about rubbing your vulvas together for mutual pleasure, usually during foreplay. It can be a great way to build up excitement before moving on to other sexual activities.

14. Use Pillows for Better Angles

Pillows aren’t just for sleeping. Use them to prop your partner up and find the perfect angle for whatever sexual activity you’re doing. Whether you’re using a strap on, fingering, or just grinding, a well-placed pillow can make things much more comfortable.

15. Take Control by Sitting on Her Face

If you like to be in charge, sitting on your partner’s face is a great way to control the pressure and movement while receiving oral stimulation. It’s an empowering position that can feel incredible for both of you.

16. Pick a Strap-On That Suits Your Style

Strap-ons come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, so find one that you and your partner are excited about. For example: try these double strapons. It might feel strange at first, especially since you can’t feel the sensations directly, but with practice, it can become a natural and enjoyable part of your sex life.

17. Get Comfortable with the Strap-On

The first time you wear a strap-on, it might feel a bit weird—you’re sporting a phallus that you can’t actually feel! But the more you use it, the more comfortable it will become. Focus on your partner’s pleasure, and soon it’ll feel like second nature.

18. Clean Your Sex Toys

Sex toys are fantastic, but only if they’re clean. After every use, give them a good wash. We mean it, a proper good wash, letting them sit for long enough in warm soapy water, and then dry them with a clean cloth before putting them back in their clean space.  This isn’t just about hygiene—it’s about respect for your partner and ensuring your toys last.

19. Use Condoms with Sex Toys

Even with toys, protection matters. Using condoms on your toys can prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially if you’re sharing them between partners. It’s a simple step that keeps things safe and sexy.

20. Different Partners, Different Dildos

It’s a good idea to have different dildos for different partners. First who doesn’t like to showcase their collection of dildos, but secondly and in a more serious tone, if you are not in a stable relationship,  It’s just good etiquette, to have at least more than one dildo to use. 

21. Buy Safe, Quality Sex Toys

Not all sex toys are created equal. Avoid buying them from unverified online retailers—they might not be safe. Look for reputable brands that use body-safe materials. Think of it as an investment in your sexual health and pleasure.

22. Try the Belt Trick

When you’re using a strap-on, and you’re in a doggy style position, try using a belt (preferably leather) looped under her hips. Holding the ends of the belt can give you more thrust and control, taking your strap-on game to the next level.

23. Use a Dildo Like an Extension of Your Hand

If wearing a strap-on feels awkward or uncomfortable, don’t stress. You can always use a dildo with your hands instead. It can feel just as intimate and allows you to maintain closer physical contact with your partner.

24. Express What You Want

You don’t have to be shy about your desires. Whether it’s a specific touch, a certain position, or a toy you’re curious about, sharing what you want helps guide your partner and ensures that both of you are satisfied.

25. When She Says “Don’t Stop,” Seriously, Don’t Stop

This one’s crucial. If your partner says “don’t stop,” keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Changing up the rhythm or pressure at that moment can be a buzzkill. Sometimes it can be demanding for your muscle but try extra hard to stay consistent until she’s fully satisfied.

26. Be Honest About Your Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation

Sex is a deeply personal experience, and being open about where you are in terms of your gender identity and sexual orientation is important. If you’re questioning or unsure, that’s okay—talk about it with your partner.

Lesbian Sex Positions

When it comes to sex positions , the possibilities are endless—and the fun is in the exploration! Start with the classics:

• 69 position is a fan favorite, allowing both lovers to give and receive oral pleasure at the same time.
• If you’re in the mood to take charge, Queening, also known as face-sitting, is perfect for controlling the pace and pressure while your partner provides oral stimulation.
• Scissoring, or Tribbing, is about that intimate, vulva-to-vulva connection—though it’s more about rhythmic grinding than anything acrobatic.
• Cunnilingus positions are a must-try, where you can explore the many delightful ways to lick her. Whether you’re using long, slow strokes or quick, flicking motions, the focus must be on finding what makes her toes curl.

But don’t stop there! In our article on lesbian sex positions, we explore even more options that don’t involve toys, focusing purely on the natural, body-to-body connection. Whether you’re looking for something slow and sensual or wild and passionate, our guide will help you find the positions that make you and your loving partner feel amazing.

Wrapping It Up

So, there you have it—a no-nonsense, real talk guide to lesbian sex. Whether you’re a new or a pro, keep in mind to communicate, explore, and most importantly, have fun.

Lesbian sex is about connection, pleasure, and discovering what makes you and your partner feel loved and appreciated. There’s no right or wrong way to do it—just what feels right for you.

Go on, explore and enjoy it all—just remember, smooth nails make for smoother experiences!