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Engaging Your Senses
When you hear the term BDSM, what do you think of? I’m guessing it might be whips, chains, and spanking. Or maybe it’s the idea of dominance and submission, like in the film ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ The truth is that although BDSM can involve those elements, there’s a lot more to it than that!
If you’re into something more sensual, then sensory play could be for you. This article will tell you everything you need to know about sensation play so you can try it.
What is Sensation Play?
Let’s start from the beginning – what exactly is sensation play? It’s a type of BDSM play that involves stimulating the five senses. This can include creating new sensations, amplifying sensations, or taking some senses away (think blindfolds and gentle restraints).
Sensation play is also known as sensual or sensory play. It’s incredibly erotic, and if you’ve never tried it before, I can’t recommend it enough!
There are a wide range of techniques and types of sensory play that you can explore (we’ll talk more about this later). Some techniques can involve pain, while others can avoid it completely.
This type of play can be part of a dominant and submissive dynamic, with the Dom being the one to control sensations for the sub. However, it doesn’t have to involve power dynamics.
Any consenting adult can try sensation play. It’s totally inclusive! You can even try solo sensory play if you don’t have a partner.
Even if you’ve never tried anything ‘kinky’ before, this type of play could enhance your sex life.
Why Do People Like Sensory Play?
To put it simply – sensory play feels incredible! When we engage our senses, it makes us more present in the moment. It helps our minds and bodies to connect on a deeper level, making you hyper-aware of your partner’s every touch. What’s not to like about that?!
Passionate sex and not being able to keep your hands off each other has its place. But it also feels good to take your time, appreciate your partner’s body, and be tactile. You might even find you discover more erogenous zones! Plus, sensation play can cause the release of ‘happy hormones‘ like oxytocin and endorphin, which is part of what makes it feel so good.
All of this slow exploration and focusing on your partner’s pleasure can increase intimacy. It can also increase sexual arousal, building anticipation and desire. I love using this type of play as foreplay! For couples who have felt a bit stuck in a rut sexually, it can be a great way to make sex exciting again.
Lots of kinksters like sensory play because it’s so varied. There are so many options and ways to involve it in your sex life. Plus, you never run out of new ways to play (well, I haven’t yet).
So, What Does It Actually Involve?
It all sounds pretty fun, right? But you might be wondering: “What does sensation play really look like?” The truth is, it can look however you want it to!
To help give you a clearer picture, I’ve included some common types of sensory play below:
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Temperature play: This is all about using heat and cold to increase sensitivity and introduce different sensations. It’s a great option for beginners! My favorite ways to do this are using ice for cold sensations and hot wax for heat. You could also use hot or cold water. I like following up the use of ice by using my tongue on my lover’s skin, which creates a delicious contrast between cool and hot.
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Erotic massage: This is another good choice for beginners. It’s something you might have even tried before without realizing it was part of sensation play! Get some nice massage oil, light some candles, put on some calming music, and massage your lover’s body.
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Tickling: Don’t worry, I’m not talking about the type of tickling you hated when you were a kid! Although, some kinksters do enjoy that type of tickling! I mean gentle touch trailing across sensitive areas with your hands, fingers, a feather, or another object. It can make your skin feel so sensitive and make you squirm with pleasure.
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Sensory deprivation: Taking away one sense can make others stronger. You can start with something more beginner-friendly, like using a blindfold. You could also tie your partner up to take away their sense of touch or use tools like a ball gag to stop them talking.
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Playing with taste: How about spending some time running your tongue over your lover’s body, exploring how they taste? You could also involve food, for example, covering each other in whipped cream or chocolate sauce and licking it up (I love this option). You can even get edible, flavored lube to play with.
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Scent play: Playing with different scents can be interesting, especially if it’s not something you’ve tried before. You could experiment with different perfumes, essential oils, scented massage oils, or scented lubes, for example.
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Playing with toys: Get inventive with your use of toys. You could use a vibrator on the nipples or other areas of the body, try forced orgasms, or play around with toys you’ve never tried. You could even try toys that are designed for sensation play, such as the Wartenberg Wheel. It has lots of tiny spikes, and when your partner runs it over your skin, it sets your nerve endings alight. I love my wheel, it’s incredible!
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Impact play: Striking the skin with tools (like paddles) or your hands is called impact play. This type of play typically involves sensations of pain. It can range from light spanking to more intense impact, like whipping, depending on what you like.
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Edge play: This one is more extreme, and I wouldn’t recommend it for beginners. Edge play is a type of risky sensory play that pushes you right to the edge of what you can handle (hence the name). It can include knife play, using needles, breath play, and even blood.
Want to Give It a Try? Here’s a Beginner’s Guide
Feeling intrigued and want to give it a go? I’ve included some tips to help you get started.
Communicate With Your Partner
Before you begin, you need to communicate with your partner. Make sure you’re both on the same page and both consent to trying sensory play.
There are lots of things to consider. What are your boundaries? What do you want to try? What do you definitely not want to try? Are there any areas of your body you don’t want to be touched? Which of you is going to do the ‘giving,’ or are you going to take turns?
Keep your lines of communication open throughout to make sure everyone involved is happy.
Gather Your Supplies
Now’s the time to set the scene and get your supplies together. Grab your toys or anything else you’re going to use so that everything is at hand. You don’t want to have to go running off to grab something once things start to flow!
Explore and Experiment
Now it’s time to start exploring! Start slowly and ease into it. If you’re a total beginner, I recommend trying a few of the different beginner-friendly methods we talked about.
Don’t take it too seriously or worry if you do something ‘wrong.’ There’s no one right way to engage in sensation play! Try to be present in the moment, relax, and just let your natural curiosity lead the way.
Keep Things Safe
Safety is key with any form of BDSM. It’s a good idea to keep a first aid kit on hand and some safety shears (especially if you’re experimenting with bondage). If your partner is restrained, never leave them alone. This is very dangerous! Always know the risks of any new BDSM practices you’re going to try (even if they seem quite tame, it’s worth doing your research).
You should also choose a safe word. This is a simple word or phrase that you wouldn’t usually use. Either of you can say it to make it very clear that you want to stop. Of course, you’ll also want to use protection if you’re having sex.
Always Remember Aftercare
Aftercare is the time after a sensory play session when you check in with your partner and take care of each other. You might want to share some snacks, drink some water, tend to any sore areas, and chat about how things went.
Time to Get Those Senses Working!
By engaging your senses, you can make sexual pleasure feel more intense and find new ways to stimulate each other. Sensory play is great fun, and since it’s so adaptable, it can work for any consenting adult. So, grab that ice and get to work – you never know what you’ll discover about yourself!
