Table of Contents
Edging Kink
Imagine you have an obsession with chocolate cake. By luck, you have one in front of you, all yours. But you can only take it bite by bite, not all at once. You hold back, savoring each piece. The sweet essence melts on your tongue, flooding you with pleasure. You want to dive in but must pace yourself. If you rush, the cake could be taken away. So, you wait, letting excitement build.
Each bite becomes more delicious as you hold back. The longing intensifies, making the taste even more satisfying. You discover that savoring each bite slowly brings a new kind of pleasure. You are sitting there with your eyes closed appreciating every moment…
Similar behavior to the scene above in sex is called Edging. This technique prolongs pleasure and enhances the overall experience. What you have just read captures the essence of orgasm control, holding back and delaying orgasm.
How Edging Work?
Edging or orgasm control is a technique that involves getting close to orgasm, then stopping or slowing down to delay climax. This “stop and start” method can be done with a partner or solo and is designed to reach more intense orgasm eventually.
When you practice edging, you reach a high level of arousal, then take a break to cool down. During this pause, you can explore other ways to touch or stimulate each other, allowing the body to calm down before resuming. This creates cycles of heightened arousal, building up anticipation with each round.
Edging as a kink is common in BDSM spaces, as a lot of dom(mes) use orgasm control as a means of punishment for their submissives. It is extremely exciting because the sexual activity involves both punishment and reward.
How Edging Improves Your Sex Life?
That’s a smart question. Let’s get into it. The benefits of edging are limitless for people who practice it.
Stronger orgasms
Edging is an excellent way to intensify your sexual encounter. Because of the frustration and sexual stimulation intensity that have been built up in your body over time, when you finally reach orgasm and let yourself go, the experience is usually intense and mind-blowing. The torture is essentially rewarding.
Better sexual intercourse
Edging can be used to strengthen pelvic floor muscles, increase sexual stamina, improve your masturbation game, and give you more intense orgasms, making it a better sex. This practice can transform you from being a 1-minute sexual partner to going multiple hours or even days, depending on what you and/or your partner’s limit is.
Therefore, if you or your partner experience premature ejaculation*, erectile dysfunction, and other sex-related medical conditions, edging is an excellent way to go.
What is premature ejaculation (PE)?
PE occurs when a person achieve orgasm and ejaculates sooner than they or their partner would like during sexual activity. It’s considered one of the most common sexual dysfunctions, especially in men, and can happen during sexual intercourse or even before penetration.
Causes can vary and include psychological factors (such as anxiety or stress) and physical issues. Despite common myths, premature ejaculation isn’t harmful and is often treatable with techniques like behavioral therapy, medications, or communication practices.
Enhanced Power Play
Edging as a kink can also be used to establish dominance during power play. It’s up to the dominant to determine how long they want to edge the submissive for. They can use edging as a means of orgasm control until they learn a lesson. So, if you’re looking to introduce dominance/submission into your sexual play, edging is a beautiful way to start.
Overall, edging is a beautiful way to improve your sex life and sexual health.
How to Edge a Man?
If your partner isn’t moaning with pleasure and begging for release during edging, you might not be doing it right. The purpose of edging is so you and/or your partner can experience prolonged sexual pleasure with pleasure being a key word.
If you aren’t sure of anything, be sure you’re giving your partner pleasure. Otherwise, it’s just an unnecessarily drawn out sexual stimulation.
Know Your Partner(s) Body
To edge a man (or any other person with penis), get to know your partner’s erogenous zones. Everyone has unique sweet spots, and it’s your duty to find your partner’s. For that you must explore your partner’s body. Thankfully, the practice of edging gives you time to do that. Also, because nerves are wracked and tension is at an all-time high, every physical sensation is hitting the right spot for sexual stimulation.
Edging isn’t really a hard thing to do. It’s just building up to reach the point of orgasm, and stopping just at the climax. But instead of stopping abruptly, you can just slowly decrease the intensity of your actions.
For example, if you’re having penetrative sex, you could stop stimulation, change positions, or just change the rhythm and pace of your thrusts.
The best part about edging is that it can be done in a variety of ways. It can be done during phone or online sex, solo sex, or partnered sex. You just need sexual discipline to stop and/or communicate with your partner when you’re at the edge. If you think you don’t have sexual discipline, practicing edging will teach you.
Sweeten Your Edging
If you’re a newbie to the edging, you could try it first through masturbation and see how far you can go. Touch yourself, don’t be shy. Explore every inch, every part of your body until you bring yourself up to the edge of sexual pleasure, then slow down and start again. Rinse and repeat until you discover your limit. The edging process can take days or even weeks.
Women and ‘people with clitorises’ could maintain a prolonged state of arousal by wearing a pant vibrator when you go out on your daily activities, or opt for no underwear so you can feel every brush and surface against your skin as you go about your day. You could also take the edge off by touching yourself a little, adding some clitoral stimulation just enough to reach the edge of orgasm but never quite.
When it’s time for the eventual intense orgasm, you could go all out and light your favorite scented candle with chill music in the background and the silky bed sheets, then take your time and let yourself go. You deserve it.
Edging Benefits
Edging is an intimate process, and it requires trust and connection for you to give up the power of your orgasm to someone. So edging can be a way to bring you and your partner together. The process of edging requires the release of oxytocin and dopamine, and the aftercare session after a long day of delayed orgasm can improve the relationship between you and your partner.
Edging in solo play helps you discover parts of yourself you didn’t even know were there. You could take time to test out your body and how it reacts to your touch. So, if you’re trying to get familiar with the workings of your body and become more confident at sex, edge.
Also, if your sex life is monotonous and boring, edging can be a good way to get you and your partner back on track and fan the flames of your attraction towards each other again. Not to mention the sheet-grabbing, toe-curling, powerful orgasms you’ll be getting in the process.
Practical Advices on Communication and Aftercare
We know edging is a relatively harmless sexual practice, but it’s still important to practice safety while at it:
Communicate Your Desires, Fantasies and Limits
First rule of safety is communication. Talk about your desires before the process, during the process, and after the process. Everyone is uniquely different, and the last thing you want to do is guess or assume someone’s limits and boundaries. So, communicate. It’s a sexy practice.
Pay Attention to Physical Pain or Discomfort
The art of edging is beautiful, but it reaches a point where the need for orgasm can cross over to physical pain. In men, this is usually called blue balls, for example.
Read your partner’s body or establish a safe word that can tell you when they are at their limits or when they need to slow down.
Aftercare is Just as Important as the Sweet Orgasm You Crave
Additionally, when performing edging, the person being edged typically temporarily loses some function of their body because of the intensity of the orgasm, so it’s your duty as the dominant to pull them close to you and comfort them until the high dissipates.
So the answer to when edging becomes too much is relative and entirely dependent on you and your partner.
What We’ve Learned
Edging can be done by people of all gender identities and sexual orientations.
Remember, if your first experience with edging doesn’t go as planned, maybe you came too fast, didn’t have the patience to hold yourself, or felt a bit awkward—don’t give up on it just yet!
If you think it could be more enjoyable with a little more practice or a smoother setup, it’s definitely worth trying again. Like most new sexual experiences, trying something new can take a bit of getting used to, and that learning curve can be part of the fun. Just make sure to prioritize what feels good and keep safety in mind at all times.
If you’re unsure how to start, listen to audio of people edging themselves or watch porn focused on edging. Also, try reading and understanding more about related kinks like orgasm control, humiliation, or impact play for insights. These can add more ideas and tools to your experience, keeping things fresh as you work on mastering it
Congratulations and thank you for reading, your sex life is about to get a whole lot more exciting!
