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Why Gay Kinks Are More Common Than You Think
If you’re on the kinky side, you’re not alone. Kinks and fetishes are incredibly common in the gay community and we’re not ashamed of them! There are so many of us who are sexually open and happy to explore our kinky sides.
This article highlights some popular gay kinks and provides tips on engaging with them safely if you’re new to the idea. Dive in to learn more and find out which kinks might interest you.
What’s a Kink?
It seems sensible to start from the beginning, right? So what is a kink?
Well, a kink is an ‘unconventional’ sexual interest. Think of it as something that’s ‘outside of the norm’. It’s something that turns you on and enhances your sexual experience. This could be related to a specific behavior, a dynamic between partners, an object, or even a material!
In the kink community, we call ‘normal’ sex vanilla. Yes, like the ice cream. But I’m guessing you’re here because you prefer something with a bit more flavor and some interesting toppings – me too!
Who Can Have a Kink?
Anyone can have a kink, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. They’re very common in the LGBTQ+ community and have deep roots in queer liberation movements.
The visibility of kink in the queer community has grown significantly since the 2000s, thanks to the internet and social media. These days people are more comfortable talking about it, but kinks have probably always been around!
Perhaps gay kinks are so common because we have historically been thought of as ‘outside the norm’ anyway, so we’re more open to exploring kinks without judgment. However, it’s important to note that not every queer person will have a kink or fetish. We’re all individuals, after all.
What’s the Difference Between Kinks and Fetishes?
Kink and fetish are terms often used interchangeably, yet they hold distinct meanings. While a kink is something that you find arousing, a fetish is something that you need in order to enjoy sex.
They can both focus on the same sexual interest, for example, bondage, but the difference is want (kink) versus need (fetish).
Are Kinks Wrong?
There’s a lot of stigma around kinks and fetishes from those on the outside looking in. But there’s nothing wrong with them at all! In fact, research shows that they’re natural and that people who are kinky are generally mentally healthy!
Both kinks and fetishes are completely valid. As long as they’re done consensually and aren’t harming anyone, there’s nothing wrong with exploring gay kinks. In fact, we encourage it here!
Top 12 Gay Kinks
Now we’ve covered the basics, let’s get into the exciting stuff – the kinks! I’ve included some of the 12 most popular queer kinks below.
1. BDSM
Starting off strong, we have one of my personal favorites – BDSM. BDSM stands for ‘bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism’. It’s an umbrella term for lots of different sexual practices, often revolving around power dynamics. If your mind immediately goes to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, you’re kind of on the right track.
BDSM practices can range from mild and lighthearted, to more intense and serious. A lot of the other items on our list fall under the BDSM umbrella.
Everyone involved in BDSM does so consensually and knows the risks, even when it involves pain or one partner being in ‘control’. Effective communication, trust, and clear boundaries are key. Plus a safe word! That’s a word that anyone involved can use at any time to indicate they want to stop.
2. Bondage
Next up, we’ve got the big ‘B’ in BDSM – bondage. This is all about restricting movement and tying each other up. Think ropes, handcuffs, silk ties, or bondage tape. You might be tied to the bed and teased. Or maybe you fancy tying your partner up so you can be the one in control. There are so many options and it’s so sexy!
If you’re disabled, bondage can even combine sex with practicality. Bondage tape and other bondage tools can help you to hold sex positions if you don’t have the strength to maintain yourself.
Top tip – try mixing bondage with temperature play. Dripping some hot wax on your partner while they’re tied up to make them squirm is so much fun. Just be sure to use skin-safe candles.
3. Impact Play
This is one of those gay kinks that most of us have tried, even if we didn’t know the name of it! Spanking is probably the most common form of impact play, but it can also involve whipping, flogging, and so much more. You can spank each other during sex or as part of the erotic build-up. You could use your hands, or you can use tools like paddles and whips.
I love spanking and being spanked – there’s no denying the arousal that comes along with it. The endorphins released during impact play create an intense mix of pleasure and pain that’s irresistible.
4. Humiliation and Degradation
When it comes to gay kinks, a lot of them revolve around dom/sub dynamiic. One partner is the ‘Dom’ and the other is the ‘sub’. Humiliation and degradation are ways a Dom may keep his sub in line or punish them. This might involve emotional humiliation, sissification, or small penis humiliation among other methods.
Some people find being humiliated arousing or fun. They find the emotional pain and embarrassment enjoyable, just like other people find spanking and physical pain sexy.
5. Roleplay
Roleplay is very common because it’s so much fun, here you play different roles and get into sexy scenarios. You could be a patient and a doctor, a boss and an employee, a plumber and a customer – there are so many possibilities. It’s a great way to act out your fantasies and spice up your sexual experiences.
You can make your roleplay as detailed or simple as you like. Try involving costumes and props to make your scenes come to life!
6. Foot Fetish
Ever seen someone walking in heels and found yourself unable to take your eyes away from their feet? Or have you found yourself aroused when your partner kicks off their shoes to reveal their sexy feet underneath? If you’re answering yes, you might have a fetish!
This type of fetish involves finding sexual excitement in feet. Whether it’s looking at them, kissing them, sucking your partner’s toes, or finding specific types of footwear sexy. You might enjoy foot massages, foot worship, or simply looking at your partner’s feet. A foot kink is one of the more common gay kinks and can be highly erotic for many guys.
7. Puppy Play
Yes, I did say puppy! And yes I am talking about roleplaying as dogs! Bear with me – it’s actually great fun and very common.
Puppy play is a gay kink where submissive partners act like dogs and the dominant partner is their ‘handler’. The sub is known as the ‘pup’ or ‘puppy’. It’s a type of roleplay and can involve intricate outfits like pup hoods, harnesses, and mitts. Some pups even wear tails. They might bark or walk on all fours. It’s another form of power play and many people find it extremely fulfilling.
8. Ageplay
Does hearing the term ‘daddy’ or being called a ‘good boy’ turn you on? Then you might be into ageplay. It’s another form of power play and roleplay. One partner acts younger than they are and the dominant partner takes on the role of caretaker or ‘daddy’. How far you want to take that is down to you!
9. Cuckolding
Ever heard the term ‘cuck’? In the past, it referred to a married heterosexual man with a wife who cheated on him. But in the BDSM community, it’s evolved over the years to mean enjoying your partner being fucked by someone else. This can be any gender pairing, and it’s a common gay kink.
The man whose partner is sleeping with someone else is known as the ‘cuck’. They might enjoy watching or hearing about their partner’s encounters.
10. Breath Play
Breath play is erotic, to say the least, but it’s also one of the riskiest gay kinks. It’s just another way to say erotic asphyxiation. Anything that involves controlling or restricting your partner’s or your own breath is classed as breath play.
It’s really important to emphasize that this kink is very risky and can have serious (sometimes even fatal) consequences. So safety is extremely important!
11. Leather
Leather is a highly fetishized material in the gay kink community. Whether it’s the look, smell, feel, or taste of leather – it’s an incredibly common turn-on!
Some people are turned on by looking at their partner wearing leather, while others enjoy wearing it themselves. I mean, come on, what’s sexier than a sexy guy in a tight leather outfit?!
12. Watersports
Have you heard the term ‘golden shower’? Well, that refers to water sports! It’s also known piss play or urophilia and it means deriving sexual pleasure from urination. These kinksters might enjoy the smell, warmth, or sensation of pee.
People who like water sports might enjoy being urinated on or urinating on their partner. Others might like watching their partner piss. Some people even like consuming urine (although, of course, this one has health risks attached).
Tips for Exploring Gay Kinks Safely
If you’re considering exploring your kinks, you should go for it! I’ve included some of my top tips below to guide you on your journey:
Do your research if a kink is new to you to make sure you’re well prepared.
Make sure everyone involved knows the risks and fully consents to any activity.
Use protection like condoms to keep everyone safe.
Talk to your partner and make sure you establish clear boundaries. It’s vital you understand what you both want and what’s off-limits. Of course, those boundaries should always be respected.
Use a safe word that either person can use to clearly indicate that they want to stop. This word can be used at any time.
Experiment with different kinks to see what you like – sometimes you don’t know until you try.
Start slow and build up to riskier or more in-depth kinks if you’re a beginner. Think of it like dipping your toe in the water – you don’t want to rush things.
Have safety supplies on hand, like medical scissors and a first aid kit. The scissors are especially important if you are trying bondage.
Never leave someone on their own if they are restrained – that’s really dangerous.
Practice aftercare after a kink session to make sure everyone’s needs are met and to reconnect emotionally.
If you find you don’t enjoy a specific kink, that’s ok! Even if it’s something you thought you’d find super sexy. There are plenty of other things to try.
Final Thoughts
Kinks offer a unique way to connect with your partner and explore your fantasies. They’re sexy, they’re fun, and they can significantly enhance your sexual pleasure – trust me!
Kinks are way more popular than you might think at first! With so many kinks out there, there’s bound to be something that tickles your fancy if you’re looking to spice things up.
If you want to try exploring your kinks, remember to focus on open communication, trust, and consensual exploration. And don’t forget to have fun! What are you waiting for? Go and be kinky!
