Table of Contents
What Is BDSM Punishment?
If you’re here, you’re probably into BDSM or are at least intrigued by it. Well, you’re not alone! This is a safe space to explore that side of yourself.
Allow me to reminder, that BDSM stands for ‘bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism’. It’s a sort of umbrella term for sexual activities and preferences that are on the kinkier side. These activities can range from mild (like some light spanking) to more extreme (like bondage, humiliation, and intense impact play).
A BDSM relationship or ‘dynamic’ often involves elements of control. There tends to be one submissive partner and one dominant partner. Or, you can have people like me who are ‘switches’ – we can play either role depending on the situation and our mood.
Within these Dom and sub relationships, BDSM play often involves punishments to ‘keep the submissive ‘in line’ or punish them for ‘bad ‘or ‘naughty’ behavior. Punishment can also be used to train the submissive to behave the way their dominant desires.
It’s important to note that everything done in a BDSM relationship is completely consensual. Open communication, boundaries, and trust are crucial to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Anyone can engage in BDSM play, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
Why Do People Like BDSM Punishment?
If you’re new to this idea, it might all sound a bit confusing. You might find yourself thinking – “why on earth do people consent to punishments?” That’s a fair question, so let’s take a look to help you gain a better understanding.
Punishments are a way to enjoy power play and reinforce a BDSM relationship. If, like me, you enjoy being in control or being dominated, then punishments are a great way to play and enjoy these dynamics.
Some people find this type of punishment to be a form of release. They leave behind their daily lives for a while and become immersed in the power play, which can feel freeing.
In some cases, couples find that BDSM play such as cuckold dynamics makes their relationship stronger because it requires such open communication and a high level of trust.
Some people use it as a way to heal past trauma. Others find it empowering to be able to inflict punishments, especially those who are often seen as ‘weaker’ in society (for example, if you’re disabled like me). Meanwhile, some others might enjoy guiding their submissive into new, darker desires in so called corruption kink! Or get them to surrender completely to their primal instincts, much like in primal play.
No matter why people are into BDSM, punishments are a well-loved part of dominant and submissive relationships.
Choosing the Right Punishment
Now we understand the basics, let’s get into the good stuff! You’re ready to punish your submissive, so how do you choose the right punishment?
A lot of this will depend on your dynamic and the rules between you, but there are a few things to consider.
It’s vital that you know your sub’s limits. Be clear on what they can handle and what they can’t, and always stay within these limits.
You’ve likely heard the term – “the punishment should fit the crime”. Well, the same is true in BDSM. The last thing you want is to dole out intense punishments for small mistakes or a little bit of bad behavior. Then you’ll have nowhere to build up to for worse behavior!
For example, if your sub drops a drink they’re bringing you or is a little bit bratty, you don’t want to use extreme bondage and flog them repeatedly. Instead, you might consider a light spanking, making them lick the spilled drink up off the floor, or taking away something they like. You get the idea!
A big part of this is making sure you’re never giving out punishments when you’re angry – that’s not a good foundation for any type of BDSM play.
Last but not least, make sure the punishment you’re giving is actually a punishment! For example, if like me, spanking turns your sub on, that isn’t going to teach them a lesson. Knowing your sub allows you to implement much more effective punishments.
22 BDSM Punishment Ideas
BDSM punishment can come in a variety of forms, from physical punishment methods to restricting your sub’s access to things. There are so many fun possibilities!
Below are some of my top BDSM punishment ideas to inspire you.
Physical Punishment Ideas
Physical punishment often involves inflicting pain or discomfort on your submissive. This could include:
Impact play: This is a common punishment technique and a good starting point for beginners. Impact play can include methods like spanking, paddling, or caning. It can be incredibly effective to assign a specific amount of ‘strikes’ for each punishment. Get the sub to thank you for each strike, or have them count out each strike out loud. If you’re into degrading talk, this is a perfect time to add this in. For example, you might call your submissive a ‘dirty slut’, ‘naughty bitch’, or ‘cum dumpster’ (these are fairly mild, but are a good start for beginners).
Forced orgasms: Just like it sounds, this involves ‘forcing’ your submissive to orgasm over and over again, even when it feels like too much or like they ‘can’t take anymore’. This is one of my favorite BDSM activities when I’m in the dominant role because it’s so much fun to watch your submissive squirm!
Sensory play: You can increase or reduce sensations to cause pain or discomfort. For example, you can blindfold or gag your sub to remove one of their senses. Often sensory play is combined with other methods of punishment.
Temperature play: Using different temperatures can be a great way to heighten sensitivity and enhance pleasure or discomfort. It goes hand in hand with sensory play. Play with ice over their body while they’re tied up, put it down their pants or clothes, or make them take an ice bath. You can even use ice dildos for vaginal or anal penetration. I find that very cold showers work well too! Another favorite of mine is playing with wax and dripping it onto a sub while they’re tied up. Safety note – ice should always be pre-wetted to avoid injury and you should only use candles that are specifically safe for wax play.
Clamps: Nipple clamps or clamps on the genitals are a great hands-free method of discipline. Make your sub wear them all day or while doing other tasks. Top tip – get vibrating nipple clamps for extra sensory discomfort!
Bondage: Whether you’re an experienced rigger or just starting with rope play, tie your sub up to flog them, keep them tied up in a specific position for an extended period to cause discomfort, or put them in a cage! If you live with chronic pain or disability, be really careful with this and use your safe word where needed. Bondage works well with other methods, such as forced orgasm and temperature play.
Walking or kneeling on painful items: Having your submissive walk over legos or kneel on uncooked pasta or rice is a simple way to cause pain and humiliation. I like this one for beginners because you don’t need to buy anything specific – you can use simple things you have around the house.
Human furniture: This method involves the submissive taking on the role of an inanimate object to emphasize their submission. For example, having the submissive get on all fours to act as a stool for the dominant’s feet.
Using spicy foods: Make them only eat spicey food for a specific amount of time. Or you could have them swallow hot sauce, or hold chili or a spice on their tongue! It’s simple and eye-wateringly effective.
Discomfort with toys: Have your sub wear a butt plug while they go about their daily activities, or make them wear an app controlled sex toy all day (with you in control of it, of course). Even better if you’re out together in public so you can see them squirm and try not to react.
Psychological Punishment Ideas
Psychological punishment ideas focus on impacting the submissive’s mental and emotional state. This often involves humiliation among other tactics.
These BDSM punishments work just as well as physical punishments. Sometimes they’re even more effective!
You might want to try:
Public humiliation: There are lots of ways to humiliate a submissive. You might make them perform a task in public, get on their knees and apologize to you, wear an outfit that embarrasses them, or put them on a lead and collar and walk them like a pet! Keep in mind the public’s safety and comfort levels, as well as the laws in your area.
Make them eat from the floor or a pet dish: What could be more humiliating than being made to eat from the floor? You could even engage in some pet play and have them eat from a pet dish, crawl around on all fours, or use a litter tray as a toilet!
Writing lines: Have your sub write lines such as “I will not disrespect my Dom”. It’s also great fun to have them write an essay or write reminders of their misbehavior on their body in marker.
Doing chores: Have them do chores while you sit back and watch. Don’t be afraid to get creative – have them clean the floor with their tongue or use a toothbrush to scrub the bathroom tiles!
Mental bondage: A Dom who has a good amount of control over their sub may not even need ropes, chains, or tape to bind their sub. Instead, you can put them in a specific position (such as on their knees bowing to you) and instruct them to stay there until you give them a release command.
Golden showers: Golden showers involve having a submissive sit in the shower or bathtub while being urinated on. Essentially, you’re using them like a human toilet.
Kiss or lick your feet: Have your sub worship you. Even better if they kiss or lick your feet!
Restrictive Discipline Methods
Just like it sounds, restrictive discipline methods involve limiting the submissive’s access to something they like or denying their privileges.
This might include:
Orgasm control: You get to decide when they can masturbate and when they can orgasm. You can even tease them through edging or ruining their orgasms. I like using a chastity cage or chastity belt with orgasm control, as it’s a very physical representation of your control. One of my absolute favorite methods of ‘torture’ is to make a sub watch a porn video that I know turns them but not allow them to touch themselves.
Forced silence: Instruct your sub to remain silent and seek permission to speak. This method can amplify feelings of control and submission.
Not giving them your attention: What does a sub want more than anything? Yep, that’s right – the attention of their Dom. Taking that attention away is one of the most effective punishments.
Denying privileges: This technique involves removing something the submissive enjoys. Take away a favorite item, revoke TV privileges, or prevent them from going to an event they were looking forward to.
Giving/taking away a collar: If your submissive has the honor of wearing a collar, take it away from them for a short time to show them you’re displeased with their behavior. If they don’t typically wear a collar, make them wear one as a sign of respect and submission!
Tips For Trying BDSM Punishment
Regardless of whether you’re new to BDSM play or you are a seasoned expert, there are some basic guidelines you should follow to ensure safe and fun play:
Communication: Talk to your partner about what punishments you might use and ensure you both fully consent to all activities. Communicate before, during, and after any BDSM play.
Boundaries and limits: Establishing clear boundaries and knowing each other’s limits is crucial.
Knowing the risks: It’s important to be informed of all risks. You might hear the phrase RACK. It stands for ‘Risk Aware Consensual Kink’ and means that all participants are fully aware of the risks and fully consent to taking part in any punishment. It’s an important part of a BDSM contract.
Being sober and present: It’s important that you don’t engage in BDSM punishments when you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or if you’re mentally unable to consent.
Protection: If your play will involve oral sex or penetration, ensure you use protection.
Safe words: Safe words are crucial in BDSM, acting as a communication tool to express discomfort or the need to stop. I like to use a traffic light system with 3 words – one for green (keep going), one for amber (I’m getting close to my limits), and one for red (stop).
Have safety tools on hand: It’s best to have a first aid kit on hand in the event of any accidents. I always recommend having medical scissors nearby if you’re engaging in any sort of bondage.
Start slow: If you’re new to the BDSM scene, take it slow and work your way up. You might want to start with tying your submissive up or a gentle spanking to see how you both feel. Experiment to see what works for you.
Aftercare: Aftercare is an essential component of BDSM activities. Common aftercare practices include cuddling, rehydration, discussing what happened, and providing physical comfort like a warm blanket or a cool drink with electrolytes.
Final Thoughts: Punishment and Pleasure
BDSM punishment ideas are diverse and multifaceted, ranging from physical and psychological punishments to restrictive and creative discipline methods. It’s all about figuring out what works for you and your partner.
No matter which punishments you choose, the key to successful BDSM punishments lies in consent, communication, and safety. Now go forth and be kinky!