Introduction

Imagine that you have your partner bent over and are sliding into her with increasingly frenzied thrusts. This isn’t “making love“…that’s how it started, but the two of you are now just fucking, looking like two animals who can think of nothing else but raw pleasure. Doggy style is turning you on because it reinforces something primal: dominance and submission. There are few things on this planet that can make you feel more powerful than when someone is on their hands and knees and begging for your cock.

As your thrusts intensify, you spank her ass, thrilling in the control you have over her body. Surprisingly, she shouts out a single, guttural word: “HARDER!” You spank her cheeks harder as your thrusting speeds up, the dominant part of your brain going crazy at the sight of the red hand marks all over her cheeks. Eventually, your hardest slap causes her whole body to achingly clench around your straining cock, her moans and grunts turning into a crescendo of wet, moaning release. You helplessly empty your balls, and a single thought emerges from your post-nut clarity: both of you like spanking way more than you had ever imagined.

But just why is the spanking kink so exciting for both of you? The short answer is that it is stimulating and gratifying on a physical and emotional level. For the long answer, though, you’ll need to read our full guide. By the time you’re done, you’ll know why spanking is so enjoyable, how to make it a regular bedroom activity, and how to keep things safe. Keep reading to discover just how pleasurable a little pain can really be!

Sex and Spanking

If you were to survey everyone you know about whether or not they like BDSM (what a mortifying thought, right?), many of them would probably say “no.” Most of the ones saying that, though, are big fans of spanking. And whether or not they know it, a good spanking session is all about dominance and submission, giving a dominant partner permission to cause pain to the submissive partner when they are naked and vulnerable.

And the light BDSM elements are a big part of why people enjoy erotic spanking. The one doing the spanking typically loves the feeling of control the act gives him…a physical reminder of who is in charge in the bedroom. Meanwhile, the submissive partner enjoys the act of surrender…of giving their body wholly to someone whom they can trust with both their pleasure and their pain.

That’s the psychological appeal, but spanking also releases endorphins and adrenaline into both of your bodies. Such a chemical release heightens excitement even as it brings up memories of getting spanked by parents and principals alike.

For those curious about such dynamics there are kinks like Daddy Dom Little Girl, Ageplay and Teacher Roleplay where spanking adds light BDSM to the playful roleplay dynamic.

It may feel a little freaky to explore the erotic side of those memories, but think of it this way….why fool around in the first place if you’re not gonna get a little freaky?

Communicating Needs and Boundaries

By definition, spanking causes pain. That means that doing it safely involves plenty of communication and enthusiastic consent. To do so, both you and your partner need to be open about what you want to explore and what your boundaries are. That means nobody will feel pressured in the moment to go too far. And everything from some light roleplaying to watching spanking pornography together can help you both ease into this new activity.

Whether or not you want to create an entire roleplaying scene, you need to establish what your session will include and what each partner is (and isn’t) comfortable with. Open communication about how each of you is feeling during sex is that much more important because you can’t always see your partner’s face when you’re spanking them.

If you’re fooling around with this kink for the first time, a part of you may be tempted to get right down to spanking the palm of your hand on some bare ass cheeks. But discussing everything ahead of time ensures that you don’t accidentally hurt your partner and that both of you have a great time. Not only is this always important when it comes to sex, but it’s the best way to ensure your partner will be down for more sexy spanking during future hookups!

Techniques for Safe and Pleasurable Erotic Spanking

By itself, spanking probably doesn’t seem like a difficult act, especially after you’ve watched a parent (maybe your own!) take a hand to an unruly adolescent’s bottom. However, the art of erotic spanking is to make sure you aren’t causing someone more pain than they actually want. Therefore, you should always start with light taps and check your partner’s response as you slowly increase the intensity.

Think of spanking a bit like sex: to get the most out of it, you need to explore different sex positions and different rhythms, perhaps adding some dirty talk along the way. And just like sex, you should know there are some specialized tools to help maximize everyone’s pleasure.

Using Your Hand vs. Tools

It’s both sexy and intimate to spank someone’s bare ass with your hands…you get that skin-to-skin contact, and you get to feel those pinprick tingles of sensation after one of your slaps makes your partner moan for more. When doing this, make sure to aim for the fleshy part of her ass…this will minimize how much pain you cause and maybe induce a sexy little jiggle.

Spanking someone with tools can be exciting, too, but you need to invest in proper items like a paddle from a sex shop. Avoid using random items from around the house…things like hairbrushes might seem like a good idea, but spanking with them can cause too much pain and maybe even ruin the brush.

Finding the Right Position

Spanking is a versatile activity because it works in any position where you have access to someone’s bottom. Bending a partner over the knee is enjoyable because it allows them to wiggle and flex their muscles, causing both visual and physical stimulation. Plus, this lends itself to some naughty roleplay, allowing one partner to take on roles such as “stern principal” or “Daddy ” and the other to take on roles like “naughty schoolgirl.”

Other options include the diaper position in which you hold the other’s legs up, exposing their most sensitive areas to your hands or spanking tools. You can always ask your partner to bend over, a simple act that allows the two of you to enjoy spanking wherever you go!

Varying Intensity and Rhythm

Not everyone likes to be spanked with the same speed and intensity. You won’t know what your partner enjoys until you experiment with different speeds and rhythms. Remember, how hard someone wants their ass slapped may depend on a number of different factors ranging from simple preference to their maximum pain tolerance. And constant communication before and after the act can make sure she is continuously enjoying herself.

Human Sexuality and The Role of Aftercare

Spanking fetish may be a light version of BDSM, but it can still be pretty intense because it involves mixing pleasure and pain. That’s why you should always provide aftercare, which might range from helping someone apply some cooling gel to their bare bottom or simply cuddling with them and offering water and snacks.

It may sound simple, but this helps maintain intimacy by helping both of you release some oxytocin. Plus, it reinforces how much you love one another, which can be particularly important if you were spanking them like you were an angry parent just a few minutes ago! Finally, solid aftercare allows you to blend spicy spanking and sweet snuggles together, creating a physical and emotional experience so powerful your sex may never be the same.

Exploring Dominance and Submission

Unsurprisingly, erotic spanking is a mainstay of the BDSM community because it highlights power dynamics while offering a playful way of mixing pain with pleasure. And if you’re really into spanking, you might be into other types of dominance and submission.

For instance, if you like spanking with bare hands and paddles, you might eventually want to try floggers and other more advanced tools. And if you like the idea of your partner bent over and helpless, you may want to experiment with tying them or using other kinds of restraints.

Finally, you and your partner might both enjoy exploring defined roles in the bedroom, which may include Master and Slave. Who knows? You might just be a few spanks away from a brand new erotic journey!

Erotic Spanking: Myths and Concerns

Many people misunderstand consensual adult spanking as synonymous with abuse because they don’t know that consent is fundamental. Concerns about abuse often arise from a lack of understanding of the consensual nature of spanking. Clear and ongoing communication can ensure that both partners have a safe and enjoyable experience.

Misconceptions about spanking can create unnecessary anxiety, but open conversations can clarify its consensual elements. Addressing these concerns openly can alleviate fears and promote a healthier understanding of how this all works.

Choosing the Right Equipment

Choosing the right spanking equipment enhances both pleasure and safety. For beginners, a paddle resembling a ping pong bat is often preferred due to its manageable size and weight. A paddle with a larger surface area provides a more uniform impact.

Floggers can intensify spanking sessions with varied sensations. Using cooling gel or balm for aftercare following spanking can soothe the skin. Choosing the right tools can make a significant difference in your spanking experience.

It’s All Over But the Spanking!

Erotic spanking can be a thrilling and intimate addition to your sexual adventures when you do it right. That means picking out the right gear, communicating very clearly with your partner, and taking extra care of each other when all the shouting is done. We don’t think you should ever skip aftercare, but it’s especially important after one of these sessions because the combination of physical pain and pleasure can be emotionally draining. Fortunately, a little cuddling afterward can help both of you center yourselves!

And remember, embracing your spanking kink doesn’t have to be the end of your erotic journey. Erotic spanking pairs beautifully with kinks like pegging,  humiliation play and orgasm control…opening up many possibilities for exploration…if you want, this is only the beginning…

At Know Your Sins, we’ve got plenty more definitive guides to all kinds of BDSM kinks and fetishes you may want to enjoy. Time to get busy reading before you get busy slapping to make sure you and your partner have an explosively good time (if you know what we mean, and we think that you do!).