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What’s A Praise Kink?
Ever been told you’re perfect, that you drive someone wild, that they can’t get enough of you?
How about that you’re such a good girl or boy? Or that you’re doing such a good job?
Imagine those words washing over you, setting your skin ablaze. Do they turn you on? Do they make you blush with pleasure?
Well, welcome to the world of the praise kink!
If you find being praised by someone not only flattering but arousing, you’re not alone.
This isn’t just about compliments; it’s about unlocking the magic of language to create connection, trust, and intense arousal.
Let’s take a look at everything you need to know about praise kinks to give you a better understanding of what they are and why they’re so popular. We’ll also help to clear up any misconceptions or concerns you might have.
What Exactly is a Praise Kink?
A praise kink is a kink where being praised or given compliments turns you on.
Basically, it’s about finding joy and excitement through verbal affirmation and adoration. Someone who has a praise kink will feel aroused by receiving compliments.
Now this is not usually just any compliment from anyone – that would be a bit awkward! Instead, it’s typically positive affirmations from a partner or someone you’re physically attracted to.
Praise kinks are way more common than you might think. If you’re on TikTok, you’ve probably heard people joking about it in their videos. There’s even a BDSM side of ‘the clock app’!
Some people feel excited when their partner gives them compliments in their day-to-day lives. While others only feel turned on by praise kink phrases in intimate moments. Some kinksters (like me) only find very specific praise kink phrases arousing.
In the realm of praise kinks, words like “amazing” and “irresistible” don’t just make you feel good; they set the mood. They make every glance, every touch, more electric.
It’s sort of like dirty talk, but instead, your partner is focusing on positive feedback.
I mean seriously, the feeling of being called a good girl by a dominant partner is unbeatable. Honestly, even writing about it makes me feel a bit excited!
Think of it as language meeting intimacy, creating a powerful experience for both partners.
Praise kinks are for any adult who finds them sexy – regardless of gender or sexuality. We don’t discriminate here!
Exploring Praise Kinks: The Basics
Now that we’ve covered what a praise kink is, let’s take a look at some other basic information you need to know.
Kinks Versus Fetishes: What’s the Difference?
Kinks and fetishes are very similar, with many being under the BDSM umbrella. The two words are often used interchangeably. So, is there actually a difference?
The answer is yes, and it’s fairly simple. A kink is something that makes sex more fun. It increases arousal and makes sexual pleasure more intense. But the key is that you don’t need it to have an orgasm.
On the other hand, a fetish is more intense. People with a true fetish need the focus of their fetish to be involved in sex in order to get turned on or to climax.
People can have both kinks and fetishes.
How Do I Know If I Have a Praise Kink?
Let’s clear something else up before we continue. Enjoying compliments isn’t the same as having a praise kink!
Everyone likes getting positive feedback. It’s nice to hear that people like you or that you’re doing a good job at work, for example. I think we all like to hear that our partner thinks we’re attractive! It reaffirms the mutual attraction and helps you to feel loved.
So what’s the difference between enjoying those compliments and having a praise kink? The key difference is enjoyment versus sexual arousal.
If you like being complimented but that’s as far as it goes, then you don’t have a praise kink. But if your partner giving you sexy compliments gives you butterflies in your stomach or makes you feel horny, then welcome to the club! You’ve got yourself a praise kink!
Why Do People Enjoy Praise Kinks?
You might be wondering: “But why do people find being praised sexy?” There are lots of reasons. Let’s take a closer look together.
The effects of praise are deeply rooted in our psychology and even our brain chemistry. When we receive genuine praise, our brains release feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin—hormones associated with pleasure and bonding.
This response isn’t just about feeling good; it’s a natural way for the brain to reinforce positive behavior and connection. For many, a praise kink taps into this reward system, creating a deeper emotional connection and making us feel closer to our partners.
I find that being vulnerable with a partner can increase trust and create a safe space. It makes us feel more appreciated within the relationship. You might also find that it opens up the space to explore other kinks and fetishes.
In my experience, it can even reinforce a sense of security in long-term relationships, letting you know that your partner still finds you sexy!
Something else I’ve found over the years is that praise kinks can boost confidence. Hearing that we’re “all that” can build self-esteem, helping us feel more comfortable in our own skin.
It’s a powerful way to embrace yourself, flaws and all. By allowing yourself to be adored and celebrated, you’re giving yourself permission to feel good about who you are. And in a world that often focuses on criticism, learning to take pleasure in praise can be transformative.
Praise kinks can be integrated into other relationship dynamics, such as dominant and submissive (D/s) relationships. In these connections, praise can serve as positive reinforcement. It’s like adding an extra layer of validation and recognition to the power exchange.
For example, a dominant partner might use praise to reward their submissive partner, reinforcing trust and connection. When used thoughtfully, praise kinks can enhance various types of relationships.
The most important thing to remember is that all of this is completely natural and normal. There’s no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed if you have a praise kink. And you’re not alone – there are lots of us out there!
Tips for Getting Started With a Praise Kink
Getting into a praise kink doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you ease into it.
1. Talk to Your Partner
The most important piece of advice I could give you about any kink is to talk to your partner or partners about it. Tell them what you like and how you would like to explore it. Listen to their preferences and reach a compromise together.
It’s so important that you’re both on the same page. Consent and open communication are the cornerstones of any sexual activity.
If you decide to try a praise kink together, then discuss which praise kink phrases you would both like to use. Don’t forget to chat about what you dislike too (that’s just as important).
Take into account that, for some people, praise kinks can bring up insecurities. For example, in the past, I made a positive comment about an area of my lover’s body that she was insecure about. Although I found that part of her body incredibly sexy, she was self-conscious about it. So we talked about it and I didn’t use that compliment again.
Mistakes can happen, but you should always respect your partner’s boundaries. Talking about what you don’t want, as well as what you would like, can help to reduce incidents like this.
Within queer relationships, gendered compliments can be tricky, depending on each partner’s gender identity. Communication is key to understanding what makes your partner feel good.
Set clear boundaries and don’t be afraid to change them as you go if you find something isn’t working for you. It’s vital that everyone involved feels safe, heard, and respected.
2. Practice Praise
It might sound a bit silly to practice praising your partner, but it can be really helpful if you’re new to using praise kink phrases. It can feel a bit awkward at first, so integrating more compliments into your daily life can be a good starting point.
Start off by adding small compliments to your daily interactions. For example, if your partner puts on a new outfit, you could say: “I love how that looks on you – you’re so sexy!” Or if they’re cooking for you, you could thank them by saying: “I feel so lucky to have you, you’re an amazing cook!”
You can gradually move on to using praise in the bedroom, introducing phrases you’ve previously discussed.
If one partner is more comfortable giving praise, let them start. You’ll both feel more at ease as you practice.
3. Be Genuine
In any situation, genuine compliments are most effective. It’s no different with a praise kink.
Praise things about your partner that you genuinely like. Be truthful and authentic.
Think about the parts of their body you find the sexiest. Consider what turns you on about them. All of this and more can be used to praise your partner.
4. Don’t Just Praise Appearance
You don’t have to just stick to complimenting how your partner looks. You can talk about how they make you feel, compliment their actions, and praise their personality.
Some of my favorite compliments from partners have been things like: “You always turn me on when you….” and “I love it when you do that with your….” (hopefully, you get the idea).
5. Introduce Praise in the Bedroom
Ready to take it to the next level? Here are some practical tips to help you incorporate a praise kink into your intimate moments.
Use praise as a form of foreplay: You can start while you’re kissing, touching, and beginning to get turned on. Start with gentle phrases like, “I can’t get over how amazing you are,” and gradually build to more intense compliments as things heat up.
Match praise with touch: Words have power, but pairing them with a gentle touch can amplify the feeling. I find that a whispered compliment alongside a soft touch has the power to send tingles down your spine – it’s so hot!
Use eye contact: When you’re giving praise, look directly into their eyes. It can make it feel more genuine and intense. But if you struggle with eye contact due to disability (like neurodivergence) don’t worry. Your praise will still ‘work’ just as well – you both being comfortable and confident is far more important.
Experiment: The way you deliver praise can change the entire experience. Don’t be afraid to try different types of praise. Experiment with various phrases, volumes, and tones to find out what works best for both of you.
Incorporate roleplay: Praise kinks can work really well during roleplay. You can use your roles to bring in fresh, context-specific compliments.
Explore other praise-based dynamics: There are lots of different BDSM dynamics that can work well with a praise kink. Why not try sensory play, body worship, pet play, or even age play? There are so many options, so take your time to think about what appeals to you.
6. Check In With Each Other
Aftercare is so important with any type of BDSM session. Always check in with each other to make sure you both had fun and that you’re feeling good. Cuddle up, get comfy, and have a chat.
It’s a great time to talk about what you enjoyed and what you would like to do differently next time. Take the time to reassure each other and reinforce your connection.
Examples of Praise Kink Phrases to Use
If you need some inspiration, I’ve included some praise kink examples below for you.
Praising Appearance
“Your ___ is so sexy!”
“You have the sexiest smile.”
“When you look at me like that, it makes me want to rip your clothes off. “
“Your eyes are so beautiful.”
“Every part of you is perfect to me.”
“I adore everything about you.”
“I love every curve of your body.”
“You drive me wild.”
“I can’t believe I get to be with someone as sexy as you.”
Praising Actions
“You’re absolutely amazing at this.”
“You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
“You make me want you more every second.”
“Good boy” or “good girl.”
“That’s exactly how I like it.”
“That’s just what I want. Keep going.”
“I can’t stop thinking about your hands on my body.”
“You take such good care of me.”
“When you take control, it turns me on so much!”
“No one has ever made me cum this hard.”
“I love the way you cum for me – good girl.”
Praising Personality
“You’re so caring and kind.”
“You make me feel so appreciated.”
“Your confidence is so sexy.”
“I love how you ask for what you want.”
“Your intelligence is such a turn on!”
Finding Positives in the Relationship
“I love how safe you make me feel.”
“Being with you makes me so happy.”
“You make me feel so alive.”
“You’re my everything.”
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Being yours is the best part of my life.”
Final Thoughts: Praise Kinks Are Fun
Whether it’s a soft whisper or a bold declaration, a praise kink has a way of making you feel like the most adored person in the world.
If you’re ready to explore your praise kink, remember: there’s no one right way to do it. Take your time to experiment and see what works for you and your partner. It’s all about having fun!
