Fem dom kink

There’s a thing about a woman in lace and leather, wearing stiletto heels, holding a whip, who looks like she might give you a world of pain and all you need. What did that song say again? “Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.” That is true for those who enjoy being the submissive partner to a dominant female partner also known as a Dominatrix or Domme, and this falls under the BDSM umbrella, specifically within the niche of fem dom kink.

In fem dom kink, the Dominatrix is often referred to as a Mistress, and it is her duty to take control of the scenes and her partner or partners.

There is a reason media scenes of being stopped by a hot female cop or getting called into a female disciplinary teacher’s office are very popular. It’s not necessarily about the uniform (even though we love uniforms). It’s about the authority that figure represents. A true example of female power.

A person does not have to be of a particular sexual orientation to be a female dominant, but she does have to, well, be female.

The traditional gender roles of sexual relationships are reversed and thrown out the window in female domination. Apart from the sexy boots and latex, there is the thrill of the power exchange that comes from being in that situation.

While a fem dom relationship can be summed up into a nice package as mentioned, there is a whole lot attached to it, and it only gets better.

What Exacly is The Fem Dom Kink?

Like most kinks, there are two sides to this sexy coin: the submissive partner and the dominant partner, who is a woman in this case.

During a femdom play, the female is in complete charge of the activities. She has all the power over her submissive. He or she will have to abide by the rules of the Dominatrix or face discipline, which can come in any form. Conversely, pleasure can follow when the submissive partner respects the rules. There is punishment and pleasure, but that is just the tip of the iceberg in this female-led relationship.

Lifestyle vs. Play Scenes

When it comes to domination as a whole, we have to remember there are two ways to do this:

1. Lifestyle Domination: Every aspect of the submissive partner’s life is being dominated.
2. Play Scenes: Domination only occurs for a period of time. It’s simply a fun little game.

A Typical Femdom Scene

Here’s an idea of a scene featuring a female dominant and a male submissive:

It starts off with minor commands where she tells him what to wear and how to act at dinner. Before they leave, she pays. He doesn’t do much but tag along. They get back home, and she gives a command for him to undress her while he is fully dressed until she is down to her garter stocking and heels.

She takes a seat, spreading her legs and tells him, “On your knees.” He kneels between her legs, eyes down because she has not given him permission to look at her. She grabs his jaw with hard hands and squeezes, “Now you’re going to eat me until I cum and thank me for letting you.”

If that doesn’t sound like what most people might be interested in at least a few times in their lifetime, I don’t know what does.

Why Are People Into A Female Led Relationship

Why Fem Dom? Because it’s exhilarating!

Many think giving up power and control at their most vulnerable makes them weak, but it’s quite the opposite. Have you ever heard the saying that the submissive is more powerful than the dominant because they let the dominant feel powerful?

In their daily lives, some people are in charge of many things and many people. Being dominated, especially by a woman, gives them a sense of freedom and lack of responsibility. They can just relax and let someone else take charge.

Bonus point: It’s fun being led by a sexy woman and letting her do whatever she wants to you.

When it comes to female domination, there are several sides to explore that a submissive partner will be begging to experience.

Main Fem Dom Categories

An interesting thing about being a Dominant, as mentioned before, is that it can be split in two. There are two main fem dom categories:

Professional Domme

Professional Dominatrixes only engage in paid relationships. Submissives pay them to be dominated in all manner or form that they desire . They might not necessarily spend all their time being a Dominitrix. A Pro Domme is more focused on offering the services paid for and if you’re not in need of some vanilla sexual encounter, they are perfect for you.

Lifestyle Domme

A lifestyle Dominitrix is different from a professional in the sense that this is how they live. They do not do it for the exclusive reason of gaining favors from their submissive partner. Unlike a pro Domme, a lifestyle domme offers more than just a hot spanking and more intimacy. The lifestyle dominatrix is constantly in domme mode with her submissive.

Types Of Fem Dom Relationships

While it may seem that having a female partner as your domme might make the whole experience soft and cuddly, it is not so. But just in case you were wondering, here’s a list to give you a little insight into femdom relationships:

• Mommy femdom: Which comes under the category of gentle femdom, is all about caring for the submissive in a nurturing way. Like she would care for a child. All of this is role play and done with a willing partner.
• Cuckhold femdom: This is all about sexual humiliation where the male partner is unable to sexually satisfy his female partner. Due to his inability to give his companion toe curling orgasm she seeks out the company of more sexually capable men. He is constantly reminded that his female partner is experiencing sexual gratification from other men and sometimes he might be present and watching or even made to clean up after.
• Chastity femdom: If you think it’s what you’re thinking, you’re spot on. During roleplay, the dominant female keeps her male submissive on a sexual leash. He is under rules of when to experience sexual release whether through sex or masturbation and who he can have sex with (if he’s even allowed to have sex with someone else or her). Most of the time, chastity belts or cages are used to control orgasms and sexual pleasure. If you’re intrigued by how chastity kink works, we’ve got more insights in a related article on our site.
• If you’re into something with a little extra danger, try out the BDSM femdom scene. Now, this is where you meet the pain encompassed in pleasure. BDSM femdom scenes are basically a combination of it all.

As much as sexual domination has all these excitements and variations, a Fem dom kink that is probably not talked about enough is Findom, financial domination.

Financial Domination

Financial Domination (findom)in femdom relationships involves people, mostly men, being dominated through financial control. It’s a bit crazier than the usual kink, but when has normal not been overrated?

Financial Domination is more popular than most might expect. The submissive, often referred to in a derogatory manner as a “cash-cow,” “pay-pig,” or “human ATM,” must provide their domme with gifts and financial benefits. The Domme controls the submissive’s spending habits, approving purchases and often using the money for herself. She dictates how he uses his money on her, and he is always excited to comply.

Unlike some kinks, financial domination often doesn’t involve sexual gratification or favors unless it truly excites the submissive. Many engage in this kink from a distance, as the relationship is strictly monetary and often limited to the internet. However, there are instances where the domme goes on a physical spending session with her submissive beside her.

Different from sexual femdom, where both partners can find fulfillment, financial domination offers financial perks only to the woman. The submissive receives nothing in return, as it is not a form of exchange. A regular financial domination relationship often includes elements of humiliation, reducing the submissive to a human ATM and nothing more.

Sexual Domination

The name itself is self explanatory and it is the most common form of domination in BDSM and is no different in femdom. It is the Dominatrix taking control of her partner or partners during sexual play.

Sexual domination does not always have to be very hands on and it can range from the mistress telling him to pose a certain way or act a certain way:

-“Touch yourself, slower, just like that”

Talking dirty in a praising way:

-“You are such a good boy. You love it when I tell you to lick me don’t you?”

Or in a degrading way:

-“You’re such a dirty pig! Get down on all fours!”

Sexual domination is all about sexual desire being fulfilled. It is like a game of punishments and rewards and what one would classify as a punishment another might regard it as pleasure.

One submissive might view nipple clamps as a painful punishment but a submissive who is also a masochist might see it as a reward.

Misconceptions About Fem Dom Kink

People might have a misconception about femdom relationships being easier to navigate and safer than male domination since traditionally women are “softer” than their male counterparts but that isn’t the case.

Harsh Dommes exist just as Doms. Unfortunately, just as every human situations tend to be, it is possible for a female led relationship to be toxic and abusive.

Power, no matter how little, can be an addictive drug and people tend to overuse it and one of the most abused types of femdom relationships is financial domination. Knowing the difference when facing it is extremely important, now let’s move on to the fun side of it.

Role play In Fem Dom Kink

Scenes and roles are the bedrock of any situation involving fem dom kink. Both partners need to know where they stand for a pleasure-filled playtime.

Popular Fem Dom Kink Scenarios

Here are a couple of easy ones:

• Cop and Criminal: The dominant female arrests her submissive partner in the middle of a “crime,” and they must obey her commands to avoid jail.
• Pet Play: The submissive is treated like a pet, ranging from grooming to being walked like a dog and barking or meowing for treats.
• Boss/Employee: Imagine a boss, usually in control, becoming the submissive. The employee, now in charge, shows the boss true control.
• Teacher/Student: As cliché as it may seem, it’s a popular go-to.
• Dollification: The submissive is molded into a doll-like figure, following every command while being dressed and styled exactly as the dominant wishes.

Check out our related articles on specific roleplays like pet play kink and teacher kink,  dollification available on our site.

Creativity in Fem Dom Kink

These are not strict guidelines. There are no limits to what you can try. It’s all about enjoying a personal experience. Be creative! The aim is to create scenes with an unfair power advantage.

Rope Bondage in Fem Dom Kink

Rope bondage is often used to enhance the feeling of power over the submissive. Many male submissives encourage bondage, especially by a smaller female domme, to feel the powerlessness they crave. “I’ll tie you up and do whatever I want, and you have no choice but to take it.” They know they have a choice but choose to feel helpless in the face of their domme. They can say no, but they don’t want to.

Punishment and Pleasure in Fem Dom Kink

Let’s go back to that dinner scene. He gives her an orgasm with his mouth. While he hopes for release, she punishes him for glancing at the waitress—whether he did or not, she’s decided he needs correction. Maybe she decides to peg him as part of the punishment, using pegging BDSM to remind him who’s in control. Or perhaps she takes a different approach and ignores him completely, withholding attention as part of the punishment, tapping into the power of ignore fetish.

A well-trained submissive will follow their domme’s commands without the need for tools. But if a rule is broken, she decides the punishment. It could be physical, like spanking or a cane, or emotional, by denying privileges like sex or intimacy. Some dommes even control bathroom privileges, deciding when and if the submissive can relieve themselves.

Edge Play in Fem Dom Kink

Another example of punishment and pleasure is edge play, which borders on the extreme. It pushes the submissive over their limits, covering activities like:

• Breath Play: Choking or erotic asphyxiation restricts blood flow to the brain, creating dizziness.
• Knife Play: Making cuts on the skin, causing it to bleed, and teasing the submissive with a knife.
• Temperature Play: Using heated objects, wax play, ice play or even fire.
• Consensual Non-Consent or CNC kink: Rapeplay or role-playing as a kidnapper and victim.

Caution! Edge play is tricky since it blurs the line between consent and real-life threat, with a high risk of harm or even death. It was once not regarded as a consensual act due to its dangers.

Impact Play in Fem Dom Kink

Impact play can be pleasurable in BDSM but also a punishment, depending on its severity. While it sucks to be punished, especially when the submissive doesn’t want it, the rewards can be greater when he follows instructions.

Tips For Doms That Wants To Have A Submissive Partner

Just because someone says they want to explore or enjoy female dominance doesn’t mean they fully understand what it entails. There’s a lot of misinformation that can ruin good femdom relationships.

As a dominant, it’s your responsibility to ensure your submissive is cared for. It’s not just about being in charge and giving orders. It’s about the pleasure you get from earning their trust and intimacy.

Before anything else, train your submissive and get to know them. Every domme has a preferred pattern of domination, just as subs have had other dominants. While you should be mindful of their past experiences, remember that this is your domain.

There is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to being a submissive. The first step is communication. The second is repetition. Words are crucial in this relationship. Giving a command isn’t enough. Every command should have a reward or punishment. This helps the submissive understand that specific actions lead to specific outcomes.

Think of it like training a puppy:

• “You do this, you get a treat.”
• “You do this, you sleep on the rug.”

Safe words & Other Precautions

Just like any kink or fetish, a scene can get out of hand, and people have gotten hurt during BDSM plays.

In financial domination, it’s wise to have a card just for playtime. The last thing a sub wants is to spend all their money on fun. An abusive domme or a crook can easily take advantage of an unsuspecting submissive.

Safe Words and Signals

Always have a safe word. Safe words aren’t just for the submissive; they’re also for the dominant to know when to stop. Choose something easy to say and remember. If there’s a mouth gag involved, establish another signal, like specific finger movements or a certain number of nods.

The Importance of Trust and Consent

A great sexual relationship needs trust, and it can’t be emphasized enough how crucial this is in a kink scene. While safe words are vital, it’s always better to be cautious. Consent is a necessity. To be extra safe, especially in professional Dominatrix play, a written consent is advisable.

Starting with a Professional

If you’re new to this kink, whether as a Domme or a Submissive, it’s a good idea to start with a professional Dominatrix. This helps educate both the learning Domme and the Submissive on what to do and how to act.

How to Enjoy Your Fem Dom Kink and Explore Others

There have been myths, theories, and psych evaluations about why people who love getting kinky do it:

• They are mentally ill.
• They were abused as children and are now traumatized.
• They are possessed (which I personally think is hilarious).
• They love pain. Best believe that even masochists don’t like to feel pain outside of a play setting.
• Fetishes and kinks are rare. This is not true at all. There’s so much stigma attached that people would rather pretend they aren’t into it.

Kinks and fetishes don’t overshadow healthy sex and intimacy. Partners who share a kink will tell you that it has brought them even closer. So before you let Johnny down the block tell you a femdom relationship is some unforgivable moral sin, know that he might actually have a plug up his butt and is too afraid to admit it.

Exploring femdom kink, or any other kinks & fetishes, can be an exciting journey. Always remember: be safe, educate yourself, and above all, have a kinky swell time.